I saw you! I saw what you did! And that was totally gross!
I saw you swipe your pinky across the frosting of a poor unsuspecting cupcake, and taste it in your mouth. That wouldn’t have been so bad – if you hadn’t left the cupcake behind in the container.
And what, pray tell, did you expect to happen to that cupcake? Did you want some poor unsuspecting coworker to eat that cupcake that you’d… desecrated. (Because the odds are, your fingers were not pristine.)
If we end up in a triage meeting, all I’ll be able to think is, He denied a cupcake its sweet destiny.
(originally posted to mailing list at work; and then a fan put it on craiglist)